Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Today = Not a good day

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There are no pictures today - I'm not in the right mood.

***

Today has *not* gone well.

I wanted to "achieve" several things today - well, to be modest, I just wanted to have "normal" success today in a number of different things, and I was simply "inadequate" ( = useless) in everything today.

I apologise profusely to the people whose time I wasted today.

And I'm *really* afraid that I wont be *any* better the *next* time that we meet: there's only a certain number of hours in each day, and it takes me *so* much time to make any progress, - and so The Idiot that you met today will be the *same* Idiot that you will meet again tomorrow/next week/next month.
- I just don't seem to be "good" in *any* of the things that I do.

I always try to comfort myself with the thought that "tomorrow *will* be better".
Unfortunately at this time, I don't believe this: my "performance" tomorrow *will* be *just* as bad as it was today.

***

I'm preparing for my first rehearsal with a band on Friday evening.
I've been told to practice 3 songs "in detail", and then to "familiarise" myself with 12 other songs.
(Unfortunately I'm still waiting to receive a copy of one of the 3 songs).
- And I'm now becoming terrified by the idea that I will perform badly with the band on Friday evening [ - I have always been terrified when I have "started something new"].

***

Dear Everyone - Sorry, I'm sorry that I'm useless - please forgive me, if you can.


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[A friend contacted me later this evening - and it has helped me, I feel a little bit better: I found out that I had managed to make *someone* feel happy this week].

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear AA.

I am very sorry that you were not happy yesterday.

I had same impression about you yesterday.

Life is hard....

The longer we live, the more fun we will have

and also.....


I wish you are getting better today.